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entries tagged with: Charles Berkowitz

 

Jewish Home’s Berkowitz receives Saul Schwarz award

In recognition of more than 30 years of Jewish communal work, Charles Berkowitz, president and CEO of the Jewish Home Family, received the 2009 Saul Schwarz Distinguished Service Award from the New Jersey Association of Jewish Communal Service during the organization’s fall meeting last month.

The NJAJCS gathered at the Wilf Jewish Community Campus in Scotch Plains on Nov. 20 for the event, which was hosted by the Jewish Federation of Central New Jersey. Berkowitz, a resident of Glen Rock, is also executive vice president of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh.

“I have been in this profession for a long time,” he said. “I was very pleased professional colleagues of mine had thought of me in making the nomination.”

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Charles Berkowitz, president and CEO of the Jewish Home Family, is the 2009 winner of the Saul Schwarz Distinguished Service Award from the New Jersey Association of Jewish Communal Service.

Berkowitz has been with the Jewish Home since 1970, when he arrived after a stint at what is now the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly, which was then in Englewood. Berkowitz is proud of the Jewish Home’s growth through the years and looks forward to growing it further.

“We’ve grown … to having two state-of-the-art institutions in Rivervale and Rockleigh,” he said. “We’ve really set a standard for the profession through these facilities.”

Through its Jewish Home at Home program, the organization has begun to focus on homecare alternatives for seniors. The first step in the program is a geriatric care management program, which includes a series of home-based services such as Meals on Wheels and medical day care.

“He’s really the dean of Jewish agency executives and somebody we at UJA always turn to for advice,” David Gad-Harf, associate executive vice president and COO at UJA Federation of Northern New Jersey, said of Berkowitz. “He’s always eager to be helpful and has wise advice based on his many years of service to our Jewish community.”

NJAJCS was founded in 1970 to “serve as a forum for the discussion of programs of Jewish communal service on a professional level, and of the application of general professional techniques to service in Jewish communities,” according to the organization’s Website. The Saul Schwarz award, created in 1984, recognizes a member who has demonstrated a consistent history of professional and personal commitment to the field. Schwarz was the first recipient of the award, which was later named after him. Winners are chosen by Jewish professionals throughout the state from all fields of communal service.

Schwarz, a past president of what would later become United Jewish Communities of MetroWest and one of the founders of NJAJCS, expected a great deal from others in the field, said Judy Beck, director of UJA-NNJ’s Synagogue Leadership Initiative, a past president of NJAJCS, and a past recipient of the Saul Schwarz award.

“He really felt that people who work in the field of Jewish communal service were professionals,” she said. “He was really an unbelievable human being in what he accomplished and expected us to accomplish.”

Schwarz died in August 2001.

“The Saul Schwarz Distinguished Service Award is an honor accorded annually to a distinguished professional who has devoted his career to Jewish life in our state,” said Arthur Sandman, NJAJCS president and associate executive vice president, program services, of the Whippany-based MetroWest federation. “We were very proud to give it to Chuck Berkowitz this year in light of the vision he has given to the care of seniors in our community and the professional example he has set for people in our field.”

Past winners of the award include UJA Federation of Northern New Jersey executive vice president Howard Charish; Joy Kurland, head of the federation’s Jewish Community Relations Council and a regional CRC; and Abe Davis, executive director of Jewish Family & Children’s Services in North Jersey.

“I know everybody who has won the award over the years,” Berkowitz said. “It’s a nice group of people to be involved with.”

 
 

Englewood begins Jewish hospice program

Though it only began on Oct. 1, half a dozen Jewish patients in the last stages of terminal illness already have benefited from Englewood Hospital and Medical Center’s Jewish Community Hospice Program.

“For many years, we’ve provided a full range of medical and related services in our traditional hospice program,” said Ann Walter, executive director for continuing care. “Now, our hospice staff includes members of the Jewish community, helping to ensure that Jewish traditions and laws will be upheld and respected, both at home and in patient care.”

The Jewish Community Hospice team — a physician, a registered nurse, a medical social worker, a hospice aide, a trained volunteer, and a Jewish chaplain — work with the hospital’s Jewish community liaison, Rachel Dube.

The goal of hospice care is to alleviate symptoms and improve quality of life for people whose life expectancy is six months or less. Dube explained that observant Jews require rabbinic guidance on end-of-life issues such as cessation of feeding and hydration, levels of pain medication, and the definition of death, among other critical decisions.

Though existing North Jersey hospices are generally accommodating of these concerns, only two programs in the state are listed as accredited on the Website of the National Institute for Jewish Hospice — one in Cranford, the other in Livingston — by virtue of having completed specialized training. In 2002, the NIJH granted accreditation to Paramus-based Life Source to set up a Jewish hospice program. However, that program folded after just six months.

“Hospice is underutilized nationally and in the Jewish community as well,” Dube acknowledged. “But it is such a helpful option for families at a difficult time and could change the whole experience for them in a truly positive way. In a Jewish program, the rabbi makes sure families receive services that recognize and align with their specific needs and customs.”

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Jewish Community Hospice chaplain Rabbi Nathan Langer and Rachel Dube, Englewood Hospital and Medical Center’s Jewish community liaison. courtesy Englewood Hospital and Medical Center

As part of the hospital’s effort to publicize this service, both the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County and the North Jersey Board of Rabbis recently received presentations on the new program.

“We invited them so that we could learn more to be able to share information with our congregants,” said Rabbi Randall Mark, president of the NJBR and religious leader of Cong. Shomrei Torah in Wayne. “Their name was somewhat confusing to us in that we had thought they would be a community-wide program, but they are restricted to Bergen County by New Jersey regulations. While the program currently only exists through Englewood Hospital, it is the hope of the rabbis that other hospitals will follow suit.”

Patricia Ballerini, patient-care director at the Englewood Hospital hospice for the past 26 years, told The Jewish Standard she was long convinced of a need for such a program, given the county’s large Jewish population.

“We always had a [gentile] spiritual counselor serving all our clients,” she said, “but now we have brought on Rabbi Nathan Langer, who is credentialed in hospice care and has been well received by Jewish patients. He can work with the patient’s rabbi or directly with the patient.”

She added that many Jewish clients are Holocaust survivors. “In the end stage of life, this brings up a lot of past memories and a great many issues that our chaplain would not have been able to discuss as well as Rabbi Langer can,” she said. “He’s been a tremendous help in resolving a lot of their issues.”

In order to serve patients who cannot be cared for at home, Englewood Hospital’s hospice is contracted with most nursing facilities in Bergen County, including the Jewish Home at Rockleigh. Ballerini had frequently discussed the idea of a Jewish-specific program with the home’s president, Charles Berkowitz, and with Alan Musicant, manager of Gutterman and Musicant Jewish Funeral Directors and Wien & Wien Memorial Chapels. “Finally we all sat down and decided to take on the project,” she said.

Musicant said that more than 30 percent of the families served by his chapel have been touched by hospice in some way. “Almost to the person, we hear that the family wished they had been introduced to hospice much sooner, because it had not only provided specialized care to a patient who was not responsive to curative care, but also to a secondary issue of being responsive to the strain on the family caregiver,” said Musicant, who called the Jewish Community Hospice Program “the most amazing thing I’ve been involved with in a long time.”

Musicant stressed the importance of a Jewish environment for Jews nearing the end of their lives as a way to maintain or rekindle their religiosity and “provide the spiritual dignity that enhances the quality of life in terminally ill patients.”

“Hospice is about promoting life, and that’s the same for all patients,” said Ballerini. “We do everything we can to enhance the time they have left.” She cited the example of one patient who was helped to realize her dream of going to Aruba before she died. “It’s about making the best of it, with comfort and dignity, on your terms.”

For more information on the Jewish Community Hospice Program or to learn about becoming a hospice volunteer, call Judith Stampfl, hospice volunteer coordinator, at (201) 894-3333.

 
 

Making lives wonderful for the elderly

Charles Berkowitz marks 40 years, takes lead on Jewish Home at Home

Charles Berkowitz, the 69-year-old president and CEO of the Jewish Home Family who is marking 40 years with the Jewish Home this year, has no intention of slowing down.

“I feel good,” he said. “I like what I’m doing, and I like who I’m working for, and who I’m working with.”

The organization will honor Berkowitz for his four decades of service at its Oct. 24 95th-anniversary gala. Berkowitz is credited for leading the way for the opening of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh and the Jewish Home Assisted Living, major fund-raising for Jewish Home programs through the years, and launching the Jewish Home at Home program last year.

“There’s a very strong positive reinforcement when you’re dealing with the elderly,” Berkowitz told The Jewish Standard. “It’s a population that’s needy and appreciative of what you do for them.”

Only 4 percent of the elderly population ends up in nursing home facilities, Berkowitz said. To address the needs of the aged who want to remain in their homes, the Jewish Home unveiled its Jewish Home at Home program earlier this year, under Berkowitz’s guidance.

“We will take care of people who never get into nursing homes,” he said.

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Charles Berkowitz

Demand to get into a Jewish Home facility is high and, according to Berkowitz, its facilities have an almost 99 percent occupancy rate — 180 people in Rockleigh and 124 in River Vale. The Jewish Home at Home program will ease demands on inpatient care and delay when people actually need to enter a nursing home. The program will also acclimate people to the idea of a nursing home if and when they need one later, Berkowitz said.

“We’ll be in a position to help those people,” he said. “When their time comes and they need the Home, they’ll be way up on the waiting list.”

Berkowitz’s work with the Jewish community began while he was a Yeshiva University graduate student in social work on a scholarship from the Englewood predecessor to the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades. The understanding was that he would work for the JCC after graduation. After a recommendation from then-JCC director George Hantgan, the Jewish Home offered Berkowitz a job in 1970 as an assistant administrator. He became CEO of the Jersey City site in 1982.

“He has been a godsend to the Jewish Home,” said Ary Freilich, chairman of the Jewish Home Family. “It’s hard to imagine that our organization would be where it is had Chuck not been its steward for the last 40 years.”

For about as long as Berkowitz has been involved with the Jewish Home, so has Sandra Gold, president of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh, who began her work with the organization shortly before his arrival.

“Chuck’s role … is so important because the Home has never stood still in its desire to meet the needs of aging people, particularly the Jewish aged,” said Gold. “He has the wonderful capacity to be both a passionate social worker and a skilled nursing home administrator, combined with the ability to visualize the big-picture needs of those who are aging.”

Berkowitz serves also on the boards of the Adler Aphasia Center and the Jewish Association for Developmental Disabilities. He continues to inspire others, said Gold, also a member of those boards.

“He is capable of inspiring leadership in those around him,” she said.

As the Jewish Home moves closer to the 100-year mark, Berkowitz has his sights set on continued growth. He dismissed rumors of his retirement, circulating because a new administrator is being brought on board to run the Jewish Home at Rockleigh. Berkowitz will instead focus his efforts on growing the Jewish Home at Home and running the umbrella organization, Jewish Home Family. Berkowitz foresees physical expansion to meet the needs of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh and Jewish Home at Home. He also pointed to the need for fund-raising, particularly since 20 percent of the Jewish Home at Home care will be given to people unable to afford such care on their own.

Through the Jewish Home at Home program, a geriatric care manager will assess a candidate’s home and work on a care plan with the applicant and perhaps with a social worker or nurse. The Jewish Home then helps fulfill the patient’s needs, which, Berkowitz said, may be as simple as changing a light bulb and helping with chores, or helping with medications.

With many challenges ahead, Berkowitz is looking forward to continuing to aid a vulnerable elderly population.

“It’s fun,” he said. “It makes life worthwhile doing the things I do.”

Charles Berkowitz, a snapshot

Wife: Rachel

Children: 3

Grandchildren: 3

Resides in: Glen Rock

Past leadership roles:

Chair, New Jersey Association of Non-Profit Homes for the Aging

Chair, Association of Jewish Aging services

Delegate, 1995 White House Conference on Aging

Treasurer, board of directors, UJA Association for the Developmentally Disabled

Treasurer, Adler Aphasia Center

Past accolades:

Anti-Defamation League Distinguished Community Service Award

New Jersey Association of Non-Profit Homes for the Aging Distinguished Service Award

New Jersey Association of Jewish Communal Services Saul Schwartz Award

Solomon Schechter Day School Community Award

 
 

Making lives wonderful for the elderly

Jewish Home celebrates its 95th anniversary

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The Jewish Home at Rockleigh

What began as a small orphanage in Jersey City in the early 20th century has turned into a major player in how the North Jersey Jewish community cares for its elderly.

The Jewish Home Family will celebrate its 95th anniversary on Oct. 24 with a gala celebration at The Rockleigh, and its supporters are reflecting on its long history.

“There are many interesting and innovative ways to make life wonderful for people who are older and whose children live far away and for whom life has changed dramatically,” said Sandra Gold, president of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh. “We are in the business of vibrant Jewish living. That is the motivation for everything we do. We want people to live their lives with that quote in mind, ‘Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.’”

‘It was the place to go’

Founded as the Hebrew Orphans Home of Hudson County in a Jersey City cottage, the organization grew until, in the 1930s, its leaders realized another Jewish population was in need. It became, in a larger building, the Hebrew Home for Orphans and Aged of Hudson County.

During the 1940s the organization added new facilities to expand nursing and custodial care. In the 1950s, the Hebrew Home and Hospital opened its doors to Bergen County residents, as well.

By the 1970s, the Jewish Home was delivering 80 meals a day through Kosher Meals on Wheels and more than 100 clients were getting served by the Jersey City site a day.

The Jewish Home at Rockleigh opened its doors in 2001 and with the opening of the Jewish Home Assisted Living in River Vale in 2007, community leaders decided that a central body was needed.

They created the Jewish Home Family in 2008, which today oversees the Jewish Home at Rockleigh, Russ Berrie Home for Jewish Living; the Jewish Home Assisted Living, Kaplen Family Senior Residence, in River Vale; the Jewish Home Foundation of North Jersey Inc. and the Jewish Home & Rehabilitation Center, in River Vale.

“It became apparent that we were sufficiently complex, that we could not have various entities operating totally autonomously,” said Ary Freilich, chairman of the Jewish Home Family. “Rather, we needed to have a common philosophy, common goals, and a common institutional vision.”

For Steven Morey Greenberg, president of the Jewish Home Foundation, supporting the Jewish Home is a family obligation. His grandparents, Mollie and Paul Weisenfeld, helped create the original Jewish Home in 1915.

By the late 1970s, Greenberg was attending Jewish Home functions and following his parents’ and grandparents’ tradition in his contributions to the Jewish Home. It wasn’t until the mid 1990s, however, when Greenberg’s mother, Rhoda, went to live at the Jewish Home in River Vale, that he fully understood the impact of the Jewish Home. During his first meeting to discuss his mother’s care, one of the staff members spoke up and said she could provide the care Greenberg’s mother needed.

“That was a reaffirming thing,” he said. “There she was saying, ‘I can take care of your mother.’ You really have personal contact.”

Personal contact has been a hallmark of the Jewish Home experience for Greenberg. Following the example of the Jewish Home Family’s president and CEO Charles Berkowitz, Greenberg walks the halls of the Jewish Home facilities, interacting with patients and staff. It’s important, he said, to let people know that the volunteer lay leaders are invested in the Jewish Home.

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Shiri Redensky, a Jewish Home at Rockleigh board member, and resident Sylvia Contente. Photos courtesy Jewish Home Foundation

“It’s my pleasure to walk … get to know the staff and the residents and the volunteers,” Greenberg said.

While growing up in Livingston at a time when there weren’t that many Jewish communal organizations, Sandra Gold knew that the home in Jersey City was the place to go for Jewish families in need.

“It was the place to go if you needed a place for an aging parent or somebody who needed that kind of intensive care,” said Gold.

When her father and grandmother needed that kind of care, both spent time at Jewish Home facilities.

“I was so grateful to have the home there when I needed it,” she said. “But if you don’t lift a finger beforehand, you can’t expect it to be there. We need everybody to get involved before the need arises.”

Because of Gold’s close relationship with her grandparents, she said, she developed a “deep affection and respect for those who are getting older.”

“A Jewish community has a responsibility to sponsor and support a quality Jewish home for the aged,” she said.

The 1970s was a decade of expansion for the Jewish Home. Its first Bergen County facility opened in River Vale, New Jersey’s first adult day-care program launched at the JHRC in Jersey City; and the Kosher Meals on Wheels program was serving 100 meals a day.

In 1991, the Meals on Wheels program came to Bergen County, and plans were soon under way to build a new facility in Bergen County, a “big moment,” Gold said, that culminated with the opening of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh in 2001.

“When we made the decision to create a facility in Bergen County, even though it was a small one, I thought that was visionary,” she said. “We saw people were moving north and we wanted to be where the needs would be.”

Freilich noted that his own parents spent the last years of their lives in a nursing home, although not the Jewish Home.

“Their circumstances were not easy on them or the rest of us,” he said. “What I witnessed was how a high-quality, caring institution can make a meaningful contribution to dignity and health and freedom from pain, and at the same time make an enormous contribution to the life of children and other family members.”

In 1999, Freilich received a call from his stockbroker, who asked him to make a contribution to the Jewish Home, which led to years of volunteer service, a way, he said, to “indirectly pay back, not to the institution that had supported my parents, but rather to the notion of caring for the elderly.”

Looking toward the future

“There are not a lot of opportunities in life to do good in a setting in which you are encouraged to be creative and to make a difference,” Freilich said. “The Jewish Home is very special in that regard.”

The economy has been rough for many non-profit agencies, but the Jewish Home has weathered the storm, according to Freilich. Still, it is in need not only of donations, but of volunteers, he said.

So many people do not think about nursing homes until their own parents or grandparents need one, Gold said. About 45 percent of the patients in the nursing home are on Medicaid, which does not reimburse the full costs of care, she continued. She pointed to several new board members in recent years who are in their 30s and 40s, and a desire within the board to keep the Jewish Home evolving with new ideas and people.

“Being a volunteer at the Jewish Home is so rewarding,” Gold said. “It really makes a difference in how you feel when you know you can make a difference for people who really need to have that in your lives. You really know you’re doing something important.”

 
 

What do we do when we disagree?

Wedding announcement controversy leads to communal soul-searching

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The viral controversy surrounding The Jewish Standard’s printing a same-sex marriage announcement last month — and then deciding, one week later, not to do it again — caught publisher James Janoff off guard.

“I expected that there would be people who agreed and people who didn’t,” he said, “but I was unprepared for the volume, and passion, of the responses.”

“Maybe I was naïve,” said Janoff, who noted that while the paper has weathered many storms throughout its 80-year history, he has never seen one of this intensity.

But exactly what transpired, and what it means for the community, depends on who you ask.

Avi Smolen, who grew up in Ridgewood and whose same-sex wedding announcement appeared on Sept. 24, said he, too, was surprised by the barrage of media coverage the issue has received.

“We (Smolen and his partner, Justin Rosen) submitted our announcement to share the simcha with the community and we were happy it was published,” he said. “The follow-up decision not to publish (other announcements) was frustrating, and somehow the greater media picked up on the story and it has been everywhere in the news. We didn’t expect this.”

Smolen, communications and development associate at Keren Or Inc., Greater New York, said he didn’t really think much about submitting the announcement “because it was so accepted in our community; we didn’t think it was a big deal.”

He noted that recent communal meetings to discuss the ongoing controversy are of value, but said that members of the gay community should be invited.

It’s important, he said, “so that they can be part of the conversation and so it’s not ‘them’ and ‘us.’ There needs to be frank and open discussions so people can share their concerns and feelings.” In addition, he said, meetings should be “less about rhetoric and more about problem-solving.”

Smolen suggested that the strength of the uproar was at least partially a matter of timing.

“The previous two weeks, there were a number of suicides by young gay people that got attention, and that was a counterpoint to the announcement about celebrating our union. People really connected those two incidents and thought it was important to speak out.”

He said he can respect the position of those who do not support same-sex wedding announcements, but noted that he “does not agree with tactics to prevent them from being seen. In a way it’s comical,” he said. “The desire to marginalize [the issue] has made it larger than ever.”

“In a sense, I’m glad that this has occurred and I hope people will continue to talk about this,” he said. Being “pushed out of their comfort zone” may prompt diverse groups to deal with the issues and find a solution.

“I hope they will recognize that people with different beliefs and practices exist, and find a way to grow and unite.”

Looking back at what has occurred over the past several weeks, Rabbi Shmuel Goldin, religious leader of Cong. Ahavath Torah in Englewood and first vice president of the Orthodox Rabbinical Council of America, said, “The problem emerged when the Standard underestimated the importance and sensitivity of this issue to the Orthodox community.”

Goldin telephoned the Standard following publication of the wedding announcement to “alert [the newspaper] to those sensitivities.” Janoff recalled that the rabbi said he had been in touch with Rabbi Larry Rothwachs, president of the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County.

Following several calls, the Standard printed a statement saying it would not publish such announcements in the future. Rebecca Boroson, the Standard’s editor, characterized the conversations with Goldin — in which the editors, publisher, and associate publisher took part — as “intense.” “He repeatedly told us that the paper had caused pain in the Orthodox community,” she added, “and that we had ‘crossed a red line.’”

The backlash resulting from the Standard’s about-face goes beyond the current controversy, said Goldin.

“The Orthodox community is involved in an ongoing struggle to determine how to live with the tension between two fundamental principles that have to guide our approach to the gay community,” Goldin said.

On one hand, the movement seeks to “respect all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation,” recognizing in particular “the personal struggles of those who belong to the gay community and want to continue identifying as committed Jews.”

On the other hand, the Orthodox movement must maintain “its allegiance to Torah law, which strongly prohibits same-sex unions.”

Goldin spoke of “the overwhelming animosity and resentment displayed toward the Orthodox community and rabbinate of Bergen County in particular” in the aftermath of the announcement.

“Gross misrepresentations have been accepted as fact,” he said. “The fact is that the RCBC had no official response” to the incident. “To say that the group threatened organized activity is an outright lie.”

He suggested as well that the issue of homosexuality “has become the civil rights issue of the era.”

“We have to recognize that each of us has issues and red lines,” he said. “I sometimes feel that because the Orthodox position is not the automatically popular position in the society in which we find ourselves — it’s easier to argue for inclusiveness than for certain limits — in a knee-jerk fashion the Orthodox are judged in a negative way without giving credence to our right to hold our positions.”

Susie Charendoff, who belongs to an Orthodox congregation in Englewood and has been a participant in recent discussions, said the most troubling aspect of the recent events was that in declaring that it would cease running same-sex announcements — citing offense to the Orthodox community — the Standard “only recognized the pain of one community on an issue that is sensitive across the board.”

“I think the Orthodox community is more complex than [the way] it is often characterized,” she said, highlighting the “Statement of Principles on the Place of Jews with a Homosexual Orientation in Our Community,” circulated this summer and signed by more than 100 Orthodox leaders.

Written by Rabbi Nathaniel Helfgot — who has just become rabbi of Teaneck’s Netivot Shalom and is chair of the Bible and Jewish Thought departments at New York’s Yeshivat Chovevei Torah — the piece was widely hailed as a progressive document within the movement.

“It was really a thoughtful piece on the part of the Orthodox community,” said Charendoff. “It attempted to be as welcoming as possible to same-sex couples despite the fact that [same-sex marriage] is antithetical to the Orthodox position. It reached out as far as it could within that framework.”

Charendoff said the “content and tone of that document is a voice that needs to be heard in the current discussion. While it doesn’t solve the issue, it changes the tenor of what’s going on. I’m disturbed by the assumption that the Orthodox don’t recognize the complexity of this issue.”

Describing the communal flap as “a controversy that is testing the boundaries of pluralism and inclusiveness within the Bergen County Jewish community,” Rabbi Adina Lewittes, religious leader of Sha’ar Communities, said the country is seeing a “ruthless physical, political, and social backlash” against the gay and lesbian community.

Lewittes — who describes her organization as “a suburban network of small, inclusive, and accessible Jewish communities connected by a broad vision of Jewish renaissance” — said that, given media reports about gay youths who committed suicide or were physically attacked, the paper “should have had the foresight and courage to respond to the resistance of the Orthodox in a way that sends the message that there is a home for everyone in the Jewish community.”

Still, she added, “the fundamental issue here is a matter of journalistic process and integrity…. Many people do not see this as a complicated issue or something needing conflict resolution.”

Front and center, she said, “is the flip-flopping” by the Standard “and the privileging of one group over another. This is a clear breach of journalistic responsibility, particularly given the self-stated goals of [the paper].”

The best-case scenario, she said, would be for the Standard “to acknowledge that it failed to adhere to its mission and steer itself back on course.”

Noting the mission of her own organization, “to enter Judaism through multiple gateways,” Lewittes said community dialogue will be useful only to the extent that it “acknowledges the many lenses through which different Jewish communities look at both Judaism and the broader world in which they live and what the different relationships between the two look like.”

She decried “tying your own legitimacy and integrity to what someone else might believe or think. We don’t need to achieve consensus,” she said. “Sure, it would be great,” but all parties to a discussion would inevitably want their positions to be adopted.

“To achieve consensus on matters of halachah or politics is not the goal here,” she said. “If anything, we have such a rich heritage because of the diversity” that has characterized the community. “What’s needed is an environment of respect for multiple understandings” of Judaism.

Lewittes added that those who call for pluralism also need to be wary of denying the presence of any particular community.

“We need to be inclusive of all voices,” she said, even those with whom we disagree.

Lewittes said that with respect to community process and lasting lessons, we should heed the words of the late Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, a seminal figure in modern Orthodoxy. “Rav Soloveitchik’s insight on how kedushah/holiness is found not in the neat and tidy resolutions to conflict but in the very paradox of the often conflicting and contradictory elements of our makeup, is most relevant,” she noted. “Our ability to hold together the different and disparate pieces of who we are as a community in a singular, pluralistic embrace is what will transform us into a kehillah kedoshah, a holy community, and is what we might model to other communities facing similar struggles.”

Rabbi David J. Fine believes strongly in the power of dialogue.

The religious leader of Temple Israel and Jewish Community Center in Ridgewood — the Smolens’ synagogue and the shul in which the gay couple celebrated one of their two aufrufs — said it would be an “easy out” to conclude that we are not one Jewish community but rather several disparate groups.

“Dialogue is one of the essences of how we do Judaism,” he said. “We learn from rabbinic tradition to honor and respect views we don’t agree with, to have a respectful discourse. We can only be one by listening to each other.”

Acknowledging that “tensions are coming to the boiling point,” Fine said the wedding announcement controversy has simply highlighted fissures in the community, particularly the fault line between the Conservative and modern Orthodox movements.

“We’re much more similar than we pretend to be,” said Fine, adding that both movements “look over their shoulder” when making halachic decisions.

“We’re the only two groups who believe that we have a place in the modern world but [adhere] to a normative halachic tradition,” he said. “It’s so hard to acknowledge sharing that space with the other,” he added. “It’s threatening because we’re so similar.”

Fine said the current flap is about much more than the wedding announcement.

“It’s about our own identities and who we are,” he said. “We’re not just arguing a specific issue but our specific identity.”

The rabbi said that not only is talking to one another “the only way to understand each other, but I determine how I articulate where I’m coming from by talking to someone who doesn’t agree with me.”

This is something every rabbi deals with, he said, noting, “We don’t want to preach to the choir.”

Fine said he doesn’t know why rabbis get so excited about the issue of gay marriage.

“Gay and lesbian Jews are just like everyone else,” he said. “Their private lives are different, but I don’t know why it animates people so much. Part of it may be generational.” He added that the position is likely to change as same-sex couples become more accepted in the wider society.

“The real issue is Jewish identity and questions of authenticity and different forms of Judaism, between liberal and traditional Judaism,” he said, pointing out that this division was apparent in the diaspora uproar over the Rotem bill — which proposed giving the Orthodox rabbinate control of all conversions in Israel.

Rabbi Jarah Greenfield has discussed the announcement controversy with people from many different communities “and their responses involve total incredulousness — the inability to grasp how in 2010 a small segment of the Jewish community can exert so much influence over a paper about something that so many people consider a normative thing in Jewish life — the inclusion of the LGBT community.”

Greenfield, religious leader of Reconstructionist Temple Beth Israel in Maywood, pointed out that Monday was National Coming Out Day, created to raise awareness, end discrimination against the LGBT community, and encourage LGBT people to be proud of who they are.

“It’s much wider than a newspaper issue,” she said. “It’s about how Jews and all of the institutions that represent us make decisions about who’s in and who’s out.”

“[Being LGBT] is a non-issue from my community’s perspective,” she said, calling opposition to same-sex wedding announcements “a retrograde perspective on contemporary life. Most of the Jews I work with already live in a context where they have one foot in tradition and one foot in contemporary life.”

“Being a Jew today is about drawing from both [contexts],” she said. “LGBT inclusion is not a problem of ‘religious’ versus ‘secular’ influences, but about integrating religious life with contemporary times.”

Greenfield said the issue of gay equality is not a “hot-button” topic from the perspective of most Jews. She noted also a distinction between Torah laws concerning issues such as kashrut and adultery and those pertaining to “human beings created in the image of God.”

“The distinction is that this issue is about human beings and their inherent nature. At the heart of the matter, it’s not about a behavior, or a sin, or a choice. That’s why it is not as black and white” as issues such as advertising events that take place on Shabbat.

The rabbi said that if there were firm commitments on both sides to have regular meetings “in which to learn about and from each other,” in the long term the different groups would come to better understand one another.

“No one has a strong hold on what constitutes legitimate Jewish identity,” she said. “Jewish identity is continually evolving. [It] has always changed and adapted within the various civilizations where Jews have lived. It’s not a matter of religious purity versus secular deviance.”

Greenfield said people gain respect through human contact rather than through antipathy expressed in the media.

“It’s impossible to overvalue the importance of human interaction,” she said. “We want to welcome Orthodox leaders into the circle.”

The rabbi suggested a possible “trade.”

Ideally, she said, “I would have all non-Orthodox Jewish leaders commit to condemning Orthodox-bashing in exchange for the Orthodox understanding that they are not the sole arbiters of authentic Judaism.”

Rabbi Randall Mark, religious leader of Shomrei Torah in Wayne and head of the North Jersey Board of Rabbis, to which no Orthodox rabbis belong, said the community rift is not a secret, nor is it unique to northern New Jersey.

“What we’ve seen over the course of the last decade is that rabbinical groups rarely sit together anymore. There are times and places where the two communities easily coexist, but sometimes they bump up against each other.”

Mark did note that during his first year as president of the NJBR, he has had several conversations with the RCBC’s Rothwachs.

“The two of us were cognizant of the fact that our rabbinic communities are diverse, and we felt it important at least to have the ability to communicate,” he said. “My hope has always been to find places of agreement and ultimately work together.”

The NJBR president said that homosexuality in religious life is one of the most difficult social issues of the day for American religious communities.

“Religious groups have a long history of intolerance” on this issue, he said.

He suggested that strong feelings have resulted from the fact that the matter “deals with people and not just issues and because in issues concerning human sexuality, people will often react on an emotional level.”

He noted as well that the issue transcends the newspaper because “The Jewish Standard strives to be a community newspaper … and we are a very diverse community.”

“Any constituent group has the right to respond” to something with which he or she disagrees, he added, suggesting that appropriate responses include letter-writing and/or requesting meetings with the leadership of the paper.

“I’m pleased that they’re willing to sit down and listen,” he said of the Standard staff, which recently participated in a meeting of rabbis and communal leaders. The gathering, held last Thursday at Temple Emanu-El in Closter, was hosted by the congregation’s Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner and was devoted specifically to the controversy.

“The newspaper, as an independent entity, has the editorial freedom to decide what it will or will not include,” said Mark. “Ultimately, people will decide if they’re happy or unhappy.”

Other Voices

Rabbi Neal Borovitz, religious leader of Temple Avodat Shalom in River Edge and chair of the Jewish Community Relations Council of UJA Federation of Northern New Jersey, wants to use the current conflict as a teachable moment.

“I want to convene a meeting of the Jewish Leadership Forum to continue the discussion about how we, as a diverse Jewish community, can learn to live together and work better together,” said Borovitz following last week’s meeting in Closter.

The rabbi said he believes firmly in the principle of a free press and expects the Standard to decide how it will respond “to all the simchas in our community,” with the hope that the paper will be “sensitive, responsive, and supportive of the diversity that exists in our northern New Jersey Jewish community.”

He noted other instances where the paper had provided equal access to conflicting views.

“When I disagreed with [Standard columnist Rabbi Shmuley] Boteach on the settlement issue, the Standard graciously gave me op-ed space to respond,” he said. “I believe the paper should be a forum for the free and open exchange of ideas, concerns, and information for our broad community.”

Borovitz said he hopes the forum will be a place where opinions “are put on the table,” even if they are not necessarily resolved. “We can agree to be civil in disagreements,” he said.

Charles Berkowitz, president and chief executive officer of The Jewish Home Family, affirmed the “right and responsibility of a newspaper to publish news.”

“If you make a decision to put in no simchas,” that’s one thing, he said. “But to decide to put them in for only a certain segment of the community is wrong, regardless of which segment it is.”

Berkowitz said “some of the bright people in the community should sit down and begin to talk about issues we need to deal with, and not put our heads in the sand. No one should impose their will on others.”

He noted, however, that sometimes firm decisions must be made. For example, his organization — which embraces the Jewish Home at Rockleigh, Russ Berrie Home for Jewish Living; the Jewish Home Assisted Living, Kaplen Family Senior Residence; the Jewish Home Foundation of North Jersey Inc.; and the Jewish Home & Rehabilitation Center — does not allow people to bring in food from other than accepted vendors to maintain the level of kashrut.

“Some would prefer not to have that,” he said. “But it’s important for people of all religious beliefs to feel welcome here.”

Berkowitz said the fact that he is a social worker is a big help.

“We deal with the issues head on and face to face,” he said. “You don’t sit down in front of cameras but do it quietly and talk to each other.”

Howard Charish, executive vice president of UJA-NNJ, said that since the Standard sees itself as the “paper of record for the Jewish community,” the current controversy should be dealt with by the whole community.

“When we face complicated issues, open exchange and dialogue is very helpful,” he said. “Not all parties will agree with all positions, but [when] active listening is happening and points of view are shared, then mutual respect is possible.”

Charish said that the next step, as he understands it, is that “before any further decisions are made,” there will be a series of discussions involving the JCRC, the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades, rabbis, and other interested parties.

“To me, that is a critical step,” he said.

As executive director of the Kaplen JCC, Avi Lewinson is “surprised and not surprised” that the announcement controversy became so heated.

“It wouldn’t have reached that level if there hadn’t been a retraction so soon after,” he said. While he believes that the Standard’s intentions were good, “they acted too quickly and people felt the paper was taking sides. That fueled the fire.”

Lewinson said that while the JCC has faced differences of opinions — for example, over whether to remain open on Shabbat — the facility, which is closed on Saturday, has never experienced “a firestorm of this size.”

The JCC director pointed out that times do change, and cited the racial discrimination rampant in the 1960s.

“I’m appreciative of the gains we’ve made,” he said, adding that, “personally, I think we should sit down with representatives of different viewpoints and start with the premise that everyone is coming with deeply held beliefs based on principle.” Still, he said, “The goal can’t be that, in the end, you’re in or out 100 percent.”

Lewinson said the community needs to strive for shalom bayit (literally, peace in the home), finding a compromise that will allow both sides to feel that their views have been acknlowledged.

“It’s not a perfect solution,” he said, “but maybe one possibility is not to use the word ‘marriage’ in a same-sex announcement but rather to use the term ‘commitment ceremony.’ The question is, ‘What can we do to find a way so we each feel we’re being heard and our principles and values are being considered?’”

Regarding the controversy, Lewinson said there have been “misquotes on both sides.” Still, he said, he is an eternal optimist and is convinced that the issue will be resolved.

“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing,” said Lewinson, who has called the JCRC offering the JCC as a resource for community forums. He noted that Rabbi Brad Hirschfield, president of the New York City-based CLAL, the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, wrote a book called “You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right.” “We’re all part of the Jewish people,” Lewinson said, “and it is important for us to be able to sit and listen to each other with respect.”

For his part, Janoff knows that he has a lot of listening to do. In a statement published on Oct. 8, he wrote that the paper now understands “that we may have acted too quickly in issuing the follow-up statement, responding only to one segment of the community.”

As a result, he said, he is now engaged in meeting with local rabbis and community leaders, understanding that the exchange of views is necessary before the paper issues its final decision.

Wrote Janoff: “We urge everyone to take a step back and reflect on what this series of events has taught us about the community we care so much about, and about the steps we must take to move forward together.”

 
 
 
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