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You’ve come a long way, baby

But women still have far to go

 
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Photos courtesy gloriasteinem.com

With feminist icon Gloria Steinem coming to town, The Jewish Standard reached out to area women in politics, business, and Jewish communal service. Here, each of them weighs in on women’s issues.

Now 76, Gloria Steinem has had second thoughts about posing as a Playboy bunny in 1963.

“I never should have done it,” said Steinem, who will speak in Teaneck on Sept. 21 for the National Council of Jewish Women.

An investigative journalist at the time, she became a bunny for several weeks to research the working conditions of the costume-clad women, chronicling her findings in a two-part series in Show magazine.

While the adventure put a temporary damper on her professional life — “I was taken less seriously as a writer,” she told The Jewish Standard — it nevertheless cemented her reputation as a champion of women’s rights.

Steinem said she is frequently invited to speak to Jewish groups. The writer, lecturer, and activist chalks that up to having shared values.

“I hate to generalize,” she said, “but with that proviso, I think the emphasis on social justice … has probably created a situation where Jewish women may be disproportionately represented in the women’s movement.”

Still, she added, as with all women, the amount of discrimination faced by Jewish women “depends on the part of the Jewish community they’re coming from.”

Gloria Steinem will speak at the opening meeting of the National Council of Jewish Women, Bergen County Section on Sept. 21. The event will take place at 12:30 p.m. at Temple Emeth, 1666 Windsor Road, Teaneck. For more information, call the NCJWBCS office at (201) 385-4847 or visit the website, www.ncjwbcs.org.

At the NCJW Bergen County Section’s opening meeting of the year, Steinem will speak about the role of religion in women’s lives. Particularly, she said, “the extent to which religion has not been equal to spirituality, which emphasizes internal authority.”

She will also talk about “one part of history that has not fully come out — the experience of Jewish women in the Holocaust and the entirely female concentration camp, Ravensbrück.”

The mistreatment and sexual exploitation of Jewish women has not been written about sufficiently, she said.

“What we need to understand is that the sexual exploitation of women is an inevitable part of genocide. If we had understood that and had the information about this during the Holocaust, we might have been prepared for Bosnia, Rwanda, Darfur.”

Steinem, who has been active in feminist and social justice causes since the mid-1950s, will also encourage attendees at the Sept. 21 meeting to learn more about their own family history.

“I have found in my own experience that the feminists in our own families are often unknown to us,” she said.

Raised in Toledo, Ohio, she was always proud of her grandmother, Pauline Perlmutter Steinem, known to her as a progressive educator in the Toledo community.

“But they didn’t tell me she was a suffragist who addressed Congress,” said Steinem. “It’s interesting for each of us to look back at our own foremothers.”

She added that one of the things she has most appreciated about feminist seders is the practice of recognizing one’s foremothers and asking questions that reflect their experience.

For example, she said, “We ask, why were our foremothers sad on this night?” The answer? “Because they could prepare the feast but not participate in the ceremony.”

Despite gains made by women over the years, much remains unequal, said Steinem, adding that she will know that women have achieved full equality “when I go to Central Park and see black babies being cared for by white men who are well-paid; when I see erotica instead of pornography; and when I see more fathers who are involved in caring for and nurturing their children.”

The major obstacle to this scenario, she said, “are the systems of male dominance; the idea of a hierarchy — being born into a group where one group eats while the other cooks.”

She acknowledged that the word “feminism” has encountered some resistance, but suggested that those who are troubled by it “look it up in the dictionary.” (The American Heritage College Dictionary, for one, defines feminism as “Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.”)

“The main problem,” she said, “is that the word has been demonized” by people such as Rush Limbaugh. “But more women consider themselves feminist than Republican.”

“You can’t have democracy without feminism.”

Steinem said young women today are not less feminist but are simply angered by different issues than were women of the last generation.

“They’re mad on the basis of what inequality they experience,” she said. For example, they may be upset about “no sex education in the schools, birth control not paid for by insurance, or pharmacists not filling their prescriptions.”

Often referred to as the poster child for the women’s rights movement, Steinem agreed that there are no longer recognizable feminist superstars.

“We all knew each other then because there were so few of us,” she said, explaining her celebrity. “Now there are many more,” including leading members of Congress. “We’re not as isolated.”

As for the term “post-feminist,” she called it “an invention of The New York Times.”

“It means they’re trying to declare it over. There are two stages of resistance. The first one is saying that something is not necessary — that it goes against nature. The second is to say it used to be necessary. Time magazine has said we were dead 27 times.”

Her own involvement in feminist issues was spurred by “being born female,” she said. Discriminated against as a journalist — “not given important political assignments even when I was more qualified,” being relegated instead to clothing, food, and fashions — she soon learned the value of sharing her experiences with other women, who were going through the same marginalization.

The activist still spends a third of her time on the road as an organizer and lecturer. In addition, she remains actively involved with the Women’s Media Center, co-founded in 2005 with writers/activists and Robin Morgan. According to its website, the group works with the media “to ensure that women’s stories are told and women’s voices are heard.”

A co-founder of Ms. Magazine, which she describes as “still the only national magazine owned and controlled by women,” Steinem said the journal is important because it covers issues “you can’t find anywhere else. It covers connections.” For example, she said, “You can exactly predict the degree of militarism [in a society] by the degree of child abuse. We don’t disconnect the human experience.”

The media are important, she stressed, because “what we see in the media shapes what we think is normal or possible.”

She’s particularly troubled by the media’s role in sexualizing women and in linking young girls’ self-esteem with physical appearance. While the Women’s Media Center has initiated a project to address this problem, Steinem said others can take action by boycotting offensive media outlets as well as their sponsors.

“We can speak out against it, and we can use it to educate,” she said. “I don’t think you can say, ‘Don’t play with a Barbie doll,’” but you can show a young girl that in real life, the doll can’t even stand up.”

She believes that some things have definitely improved. Pointing to “the power of naming,” she noted that “domestic violence,” “sexual harassment,” “reproductive rights,” and other such terms “are all new words” that have succeeded in raising awareness of these issues.

She also credits now Secretary of State Hillary Clinton with “changing women’s ideas,” allowing them to conceive of a female president.

“I didn’t think she could win [the presidency], but she won in the sense of allowing people to imagine,” said Steinem.

What does she tell young girls today?

“I tell them to trust their own instincts and feelings; to do what they love; to look for the wisdom already inside them.”

While much remains to be done, Steinem calls herself an optimist. “Hope is the way we plan, look forward,” she said. “It’s important to be hopeful.”

 

More on: You’ve come a long way, baby

 
 
 

Women’s work

Barbara Kaufman, former president and now program chair of the National Council Section that will host Gloria Steinem Sept. 21, said the group is “always interested in finding speakers who share the same point of view we do — pro-women, pro-children, pro-families.”

She pointed out that the Bergen County Section, with some 1,200 members, is one of the largest contingents in the 100,000-member national volunteer organization.

 
 

‘Jewish woman to watch’ tells how she succeeded in business

Yanina Fleysher, named by Jewish Women International in December as one of 10 “Jewish Women to Watch,” came to the United States from Moldavia, then in the Soviet Union, when she was 12. Today, at 43, she runs a thriving custom-jewelry business based in Cedar Grove and was recognized in National Jeweler magazine last year as America’s best jeweler in the couture category.

How she got her start is a little bit sad and a little bit funny.

 
 

Women heads of Jewish federations

Ruth Cole, the president of the State Association of Jewish Federations, supplied the following information:

• There are two female executive directors, out of 12, of Jewish federations in New Jersey — Gerri Bamira of the Jewish Federation of Greater Middlesex County and Diane Naar of the Jewish Federation of Somerset, Hunterdon, and Warren Counties.

• In the country, there are 54 female executive directors out of 157. This number reflects the fact that there are, in some cases, acting co-executive directors. For example, in Washington, D.C. there is a female acting executive director.

• If the numbers are broken down by city size, the statistics are as follows:

 
 

The concrete ceiling

Women in Jewish communal life

After some 23 years in Jewish communal service, Judy Beck would still encourage young women to enter the field.

“I would tell them it’s a fantastic career,” said Beck, former director of the Synagogue Leadership Initiative of UJA Federation of Northern New Jersey. “But I’d also say it’s not really a field that will lead them to a top position in an agency.”

In fact, said Beck, while she hopes that the young women she’s mentored over the years would be the leaders of the future, “I don’t know if they’ll be able to.”

 
 
 
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Stay tuned for the return of comments

 

Dentistry in Africa

Local father-daughter duo fix teeth in Jewish Ugandan village

Kayla Grunstein’s parents, Shira and Dr. Robert Grunstein, didn’t want her to “be a brat,” Kayla said.

They wanted her to learn something about the world and her place in it, about the importance of work and the satisfaction of a job well done, about gratitude and generosity and giving.

They also were not adverse to allowing the 14-year-old some excitement and adventure at the same time.

In fact, a lot of excitement and adventure. With the Abayudaya in Uganda.

This is how it happened.

Her father, Dr. Robert Grunstein, is a dentist. He lives in Teaneck but has spent his career working mainly with lower-income children in Passaic and Paterson. He had the brilliant idea (yes, this is journalism, but some things are so clear that they just must be said, so brilliant idea it is) of buying an old fire truck and turning it into a mobile dental office. “Kids love fire trucks, and they are ambivalent at best about going to the dentist,” he said. “If you mix the two, it becomes more palatable.

 

We’ve got the horse right here…

Local Orthodox family wins the Kentucky Derby. Really!

It took American Pharoah barely more than two minutes and two seconds to win the 2015 Kentucky Derby.

For Joanne Zayat of Teaneck, whose husband, Ahmed, owns American Pharoah (and yes, that is how it is spelled), those two minutes and barely more than two seconds stretched out and then blurred and bore little relation to regular time as it usually passes.

There she was — really, there they were, Ahmed and Joanne Zayat, their four children — all Orthodox Jews — and a small crowd of friends and relatives, in one of the owners’ boxes at Churchill Downs in Lexington, Kentucky, on a glorious flowering spring Shabbat, watching as their horse won America’s most iconic horse race.

How did they get there?

 

Born to lead

The head of the Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey tells his story — and federation’s

Learning to cull less-than-perfect goldfish as they hurtle by you on a slimy assembly line, using your bare hands, disposing of them in garbage bags, is not a skill most nice Jewish boys acquire.

Nor is standing in the middle of an ice-cold pond in a torn wetsuit and hand-selecting the most decorative available koi, at the orders of overseas hoteliers, again with your bare hands.

Jason Shames of Haworth did both those things, during a stay on an Israeli kibbutz. Those and similar skills, oddly enough, were part of a logical progression that took Mr. Shames from the Bronx to the helm of the Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey, a job he accepted four years ago this week.

 

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‘Indescribable’ connections

Zahal Shalom brings Israeli veterans to Ridgewood for touring, love

What happened when the alarm went off in the Pentagon was a reminder of one of the reasons local volunteers behind Zahal Shalom are so eager to open their homes, their schedules, and their wallets to 10 wounded Israeli veterans each year.

During their two-week stay, the Israelis get to see New Jersey, New York, and Washington, D.C.

In Washington, they visited the monuments, ate in the Senate dining room, and took a tour of the Pentagon, where — and this was not on the five-page itinerary — a fire drill caused alarms to clang loudly.

For Anat Nitsan, the alarm brought back memories from the Yom Kippur war, more than 40 years ago. Now an art curator, then she was a soldier at the air force base at Sharm el-Sheikh, at the southern tip of Sinai. She survived the initial surprise attack from the Egyptian air force. And then, in a case of friendly fire, she watched in horror as a missile seemed to target her directly. Somehow she survived that too — though not without a case of post-traumatic stress disorder.

 

We’ve got the horse right here…

Local Orthodox family wins the Kentucky Derby. Really!

It took American Pharoah barely more than two minutes and two seconds to win the 2015 Kentucky Derby.

For Joanne Zayat of Teaneck, whose husband, Ahmed, owns American Pharoah (and yes, that is how it is spelled), those two minutes and barely more than two seconds stretched out and then blurred and bore little relation to regular time as it usually passes.

There she was — really, there they were, Ahmed and Joanne Zayat, their four children — all Orthodox Jews — and a small crowd of friends and relatives, in one of the owners’ boxes at Churchill Downs in Lexington, Kentucky, on a glorious flowering spring Shabbat, watching as their horse won America’s most iconic horse race.

How did they get there?

 

100 years in Hoboken

United Synagogue’s building celebrates its centennial

Hoboken is surprisingly small, given its outsize reputation.

It’s only got 50,000 residents, and its nickname, Mile Square City, is roughly accurate. (“It actually covers an area of two square miles when including the under-water parts in the Hudson River,” Wikipedia helpfully tells us. It’s hard to understand why anyone would want to count the underwater parts.)

It’s a city with a storied history — Frank Sinatra, “On the Waterfront” and therefore Marlon Brando, gangsters, music, angst, longshoremen, gritty local color. Its lack of parking, which makes finding a space in Manhattan seem relatively as easy as finding one in, say, Montana, is legendary.

For the last few decades, Hoboken’s been home to young people who work in Manhattan but don’t want or can’t afford to live there; it pulses with singles, who might make noises about staying but have tended to move once they’re married and certainly once they have kids.

Hoboken also has a more recent history of apparently being on the cusp, the verge, the very sharp tip of change, but somehow not quite making it.

 
 
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