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ADL targets cyberbullying in the wake of Rutgers suicide

Neuer says electronic abuse is a growing phenomenon

 
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When 18-year-old Rutgers student Tyler Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, he may have been responding to cyberbullying, says Etzion Neuer, the Anti-Defamation League’s New Jersey regional director.

“It’s something that can have tragic and devastating results,” he said.

According to Neuer, Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan has not made a final decision on how to charge students Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, who used a hidden webcam to broadcast a same-sex encounter by Clementi, a Ridgewood resident. The prosecutors’ office is seeking to determine if the perpetrators targeted Clementi because of his perceived sexual orientation.

“If so, a prosecution on hate crimes charges could be part of a strong and effective outreach and education effort to deter future such bullying,” said Neuer.

But whether this is labeled a bias crime is not the main issue, he added. While the case may involve homophobia, “it appears that the perpetrators committed this [act] without any regard for the consequences, and that speaks to the general problem with cyberbullying and misuse of the Internet.”

“Many young people spend so much time on the Internet, yet they have no sense that there are real-world consequences to their actions,” he said, adding that “parents have to work very early on with children on this issue, and it doesn’t end with high school.”

Defining cyberbullying as “intentional harm inflicted through electronic media,” he called it a growing phenomenon, as increasing numbers of young people engage in e-mail, texting, chatting, and blogging “as a central part of their social life.”

With that use comes an increase in the misuse of these technologies to “bully, harass, and even incite violence.”

Neuer said that according to the Cyberbullying Research Center, this kind of abuse affects between 20 percent and 50 percent of all United States teens.

He is not surprised, he said, given the stories he has heard from students during ADL school workshops addressing the issue.

Calling educating against cyberbullying a natural part of ADL’s mission, Neuer said “it may be motivated by prejudice, hate, or bias, based on factors such as race, religion, or sexual orientation.” But “whether related to identity-based group membership or more universal characteristics such as social status or appearance, the cruelty can produce devastating results,” he said.

The New Jersey director said that over the past several years, the ADL has developed interactive workshops for students from elementary through high school.

“While we’re known primarily in the Jewish community as being the go-to group on anti-Semitism, we’ve also had a broader mission dealing with bigotry and stopping hatred of all sorts,” he said, pointing to ongoing anti-bias programs, such as those on cyberbullying for administrators, educators, and students.

Neuer said that some students have told him “chilling” stories. “It’s so disturbing,” he said, that “many of them seem resigned to it, so they’re not reporting it.”

While those students who attend the ADL workshops seem to be helped by the program, “we often feel like it’s just a drop in the bucket. Especially with the electronic media, [we feel] we’re playing catch-up as we respond.”

Parents and administrators should not feel overwhelmed, he said, since “there are steps to put in place and ways to make improvements.”

 
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Stay tuned for the return of comments

Thom posted 08 Oct 2010 at 07:23 PM

When is the law of the land going to start applying to the internet? I support freedom of speech but that has been totally abused when it comes to the internet. Cyberbullying is crime and should be treated as such. Also new internet laws need to go after companies that allow it to happen without setting up measures to prevent it. For example, the company Topix does not require registration or a human moderator for each of its forums. Topix is now primarily a site for cyberbullying and other illegal activities. That company should bare some of the responsibility. My Yearbook is another really poor one. There is no way to completely stop it but there should be a better tracking system and IP’s and locations without hiding behind proxies should be listed as well on messageboards. It is out of hand. Those that cyberbullies the Rutgers student ought to spend the next several years in a prison cell and see how they enjoy bullying.

 

Praying while female at the Kotel

Women of the Wall representative to speak locally

What’s going on with the Women of the Wall now?

What’s happening with gender equality and pluralism in Israel, now that the Israeli election is over?

Women of the Wall, made up of women from across the Jewish spectrum, has fought for the right to pray at the Kotel — Jerusalem’s Western Wall, the symbolic center of Jewish life, the magnet that draws observant and non-observant Jews, non-Jews, poets, and often even skeptics, close to it, as if they were pure iron filings.

The group, which was formed in the late 1980s, has been bolstered by legal wins. Its most important recent victory was the April 2013 decision by Judge Moshe Sobel of the Jerusalem District Court, who ruled that the city police were wrong when they arrested five women for the crime of wearing tallitot at the women’s section of the Kotel.

 

Twenty years later

Stephen Flatow remembers his murdered daughter Alisa

When you ask attorney Stephen Flatow of West Orange how many children he has, his answer is immediate.

“I have five children,” he says.

Not surprising. What father doesn’t know how many children he has?

And how are they doing?

Four of them are flourishing; they are all married and all parents. Mr. Flatow and his wife, Rosalyn, have 13 grandchildren, and another one’s on the way. (And three of the Flatows’ children live in Bergen County.)

But the fifth, his oldest, Alisa, was murdered by terrorists when she was 20; her 20th yahrzeit was last week. She has been dead as long as she was alive.

“Just because she isn’t there now, that doesn’t mean I’m not her father,” he said. “I just don’t have any recent pictures of her to show.”

 

‘A do-it-yourself disease’

Before Saddle Brook walk, families of ALS patients talk about the disease’s impact

In early 2014, just shy of his 12th birthday, Eitan David Jacobi of Teaneck told his parents he was having trouble raising his arms. It was particularly hard for him to shoot basketballs.

This was a first for the youngster, said his mother, Rabbi Lori Forman-Jacobi, who described her son as an active, funny, and very social kid.

In fact, she said, he had spent the previous summer as a camper at Ramah Nyack. And when he fell off a horse in early November, “we told him to get back on.” Usually that’s good advice. But Eitan did not have the strength to stay on the horse.

“We didn’t have a clue,” Rabbi Forman-Jacobi, a past vice-principal of the Bergen County High School of Jewish Studies. “It took us until Thanksgiving to get to a neurologist.” By that time, Eitan was “unable to reach to get to the microwave or to open cabinets.”

 

RECENTLYADDED

Should we toughen or baby our kids?

Panel at Emanuel at Franklin Lakes to look at innocence, experience, expectations

Say you begin with the assumption that just about everything in life demands a balance — between work and pleasure, home and office, family and friends, saving and spending, responsibility and heedlessness, tradition and change. That’s just part of being an adult. Maybe you can call it the balance between pleasure and pain.

But what about children? What about adolescents? What do they have to balance? What do we as their parents have to balance for them?

That’s what Rabbi Joseph H. Prouser’s latest panel, “Preserving Youthful Innocence…or Teaching Adult Responsibilities… What Do We Owe Our Children?” will explore.

Rabbi Prouser, who heads Temple Emanuel of North Jersey in Franklin Lakes, said that we — parents, educators, leaders, and the community in general — have two very different sets of responsibilities toward our children. “One is to teach them adult responsibilities, to help them grow up,” he said. “The other is the critical responsibility to protect and preserve their innocence, to keep them as children so they can have a full, wholesome experience of childhood.

 

Yvette Tekel, 1925-2015

Community mourns loss of beloved leader ‘active in anything Jewish’

The loss of Yvette Tekel will be keenly felt throughout our community and beyond its borders.

Indeed, the words family, friends, and colleagues — across communities, across organizations — used to describe Ms. Tekel — who recently moved to Fort Lee from Haworth — paint a picture of a woman who brought joy and inspiration to all who knew her.

“She was a five-foot giant,” said her husband, Louis, singing the praises of his nearly 90-year-old wife to Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner, who conducted Yvette’s funeral on May 20 at Temple Emanu-El of Closter. The couple had been married for 68 years.

Lou, who worked in the linen business and was a decorated hero of World War II, “was chairman of the Yvette fan club,” Rabbi Kirshner said. “He supported her and stood by her side” in all her many charitable endeavors.

 

Mark the SPOT

Family of melanoma victim works with hair stylists to raise awareness

Less than two years have gone by since Rachel Samitt noticed a suspicious mole under the wet hair on her dad’s sunlit scalp after a swim in the family’s Woodcliff Lake pool.

Though Mark Samitt immediately made an appointment with his dermatologist, the skin cancer his daughter saw took his life on May 6. He was 52.

Mr. Samitt’s tragic death makes this Sunday’s cut-a-thon all the more poignant — and vital. Mark the SPOT, a program he launched with his wife, Gayle, and daughters Rachel and Danielle, in partnership with the Melanoma Research Foundation, will be held at six Pascack Valley-area salons. Its goal is to teach hairstylists that “If you spot something, say something.”

Mark the SPOT educates stylists about how to identify possibly cancerous marks on their customers’ heads or necks and how to communicate their findings in a way that does not panic but encourages the customer to seek medical attention. The first salon to host a training session was Mania Hair Studio in Park Ridge. Owner Phil Mania lost his own father to melanoma at a young age.

 
 
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